Chemo Round #2

I was finally able to get my 2nd treatment on Dec. 19th. This time, the most selfless-caring-bestmom-always-happy, woman in the world took me. I am so lucky that God made her my mom.

Thankfully, I continue to feel GREAT and tolerate chemo incredibly well! I have some side effects, but only consider them a little annoying. Even if I feel terrible during my remaining 6 treatments, I feel so happy that I felt great during the first 2!


Nausea/ fatigue- This cycle I didn't experience ANY nausea and felt a lot better than during the first cycle. I only took 1 of my nausea meds for the first 3 days, versus 2 meds for 6 days. The fatigue is still there but I've learned to pace myself. Such an adjustment for me since I rarely ever sat down.

Stomach / Pain- I also experienced the stomach pains/cramps one night. It's painful enough that it prevents me from sleeping.  Thankfully, it only lasted 1 night.

An unexpected side effect this time around, has been an itchy rash on my scalp. Gross, right? Annoying more than anything because it makes it hard to wear my wigs. I've actually even resorted to wearing just a beanie around the house... My oncologist believes it's related to the 20 mg of steroids I get during my chemo treatment. He prescribed a topical antibiotic in hopes of preventing an infection.

White blood cell counts- My nadir period is 10-15 days after chemo day. This means that my white blood cell count (specifically, my neutrophil count) is at its lowest during those days. This causes neutropenia (link for more info). Even normal bacteria can cause infections. So, I have to stay away from public places. A challenge for me since I love being out and about!

Appetite/weight- I want cake with icing and ice cream constantly and have been eating ice cream nightly.  😳 I am loving fruit and eat things like melons, papaya, grapefruit and pomegranate. I've always LOVED vegetables, but fruit? NOT SO MUCH.  Prior to chemo, I had to force myself to have 1 apple every month or two. My weight continues to stay the same. Thank goodness for that because the amount of time I spend sitting plus the cake and ice cream made me wonder if I would be the first cancer patient (ever) to gain weight during treatment... 😆

I go back to MD Anderson on January 12th for an ultrasound to check response to treatment.  I am glad they placed the markers on each end of the mass to track it's size... On January 16th, I am scheduled for my 3rd cycle although I have this urge to call my doctor and beg him to let me get it TODAY.

Cheers to a happy and healthy 2018! For us, 2017 will be hard to top. We were very blessed all year. We traveled a ton and had a blast! Although 2018 won't include as much travel or fun... It will be a  year of healing and familial growth. Best of all, we get to enjoy the heightened awareness and perspective of the little moments in our lives. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

New Hairdo...

[DISCLOSURE: I normally do NOT take this many pictures of myself. 😂]

On Friday December the 8th, I had 6 inches of my hair chopped off in hopes of prolonging the amount of time I had with hair by making it appear fuller.

Just 4 days later, I told Joe and the boys that I needed them to stand-by for moral support while I shaved my head. They asked if they could help, but I needed to do it alone. I made 4 ponytails and cut them close to my scalp. Then, proceeded to shave. But first, I had to cut a mohawk to show the boys. After all, I did shave a mohawk on Cole's head when he was 8 weeks old. 😏

I'm officially a cancer patient when I look in the mirror. Interestingly, I have not felt emotional about my hair. When I look in the mirror, I see a cancer patient, but that patient is not me. Maybe it's due to the fact that I (thankfully) continue to feel GREAT physically.

The pictures below were taken a couple of days ago. Today, I barely have any left.

Here are some of my different "hairdos". This is my brunette "halo" hair and supposed to be worn with hats and beanies.  Think tonsure... 😜

Thank you, Crystal Clear Mortgage for donating the hats. 😂

Below is the wig that I hated the least out of all of the ones I tried.  I feel very UNcomfortable in it, but it's nice to not have to wear a hat. 

This is my blonde "halo". If the kids didn't mind me wearing a pink one, I would buy one of those too! I wish I could wear a t-shirt or a sign that says "dealing with cancer. this isn't a lapse in judgement." I may as well experiment, have fun and not try to conceal the fact that I'm wearing a wig. 

I went in for my 2nd chemo cycle but was turned down due to low white blood cells. This was incredibly disappointing because I WANT chemo. I want to kill this thing so bad. My oncologist now wants me to try again on Tuesday December 19th and to return every 4 weeks, instead of every 3 weeks. I was originally scheduled to end chemo mid April. Now, I won't finish until the end of June. I'm quickly learning that I can't focus on dates and always need to be prepared for the unexpected. 

Emotionally, I continue to feel strong and ready to battle. Thank you for continuing to show me so much love.  I'm so astounded by it.  I hope every person battling cancer, has an unbelievable support system like the one I've got. 💗 

Dancing with the Devil

Cycles 1-4 consist of 3 different types of chemo drugs: Fluororacil, Doxorubicin ("Red Devil" 👹), and Cyclophosphamide every 3 weeks. Chemo week is supposed to be the hardest. It starts on day 1 (chemo day) and symptoms are supposed to progress through day 7.  Today is day 6 of dancing with the devil. Somehow, my body tolerated the dance incredibly well!

Nausea/ fatigue- Overall, just a little nausea and exhaustion. I experienced about an hour (over the span of 6 days) where the exhaustion and nausea were pretty strong but those moments passed very quickly. As an example (on day 2), I took a shower and loaded clothes into the dryer. Just those 2 tasks, KNOCKED ME OUT for about 15 min. haha! From then on, I've had to downshift my energy level to about 25% by sitting most of the day.

Stomach / Pain- Night 4, I experienced some wicked stomach cramps!!

Hair loss- So far, hair is still on my head but I'm dreading the moment it begins to fall out. I fear brushing it and seeing a clump on the brush.

Appetite (Weight loss/Weight gain)- The steroid the first couple of days gave me a huge appetite but the nausea helped me keep it under control. So far, I haven't lost or gained any weight.

I feel so damn lucky. 💗

Chemo Round #1

Things are about to get real. I had to buy barf bags online last night and had my 1st chemo cycle this morning. We arrived at MD Anderson at 6:15am. Had blood work and at 7:30am went into this room. I was expecting a very large room with lots of people having treatment in reclining chairs, so a private room was a pleasant surprise.

We were in the room for 3 hours. The first 30 minutes consisted of flushing my port and administering 3 different nausea medications and a steroid. The following 2.5 hours consisted of the 3 chemo drugs (F.A.C). One of them has a "street name" of Red Devil. Love the warm and fuzzy feeling that it gives me hearing the name, but I'll welcome and embrace this little cocktail as it helps me beat this thing. Thankfully, it was a non eventful day and I feel great other than sleepy and a little queasy.  

CHEMO #1 with MY #1- ✅ ❤️

7 to go!!!

It was actually RED. 👹

Sunrise from MD Anderson this morning.

Port Surgery

I had my port surgery at MD Anderson yesterday with Dr. Ervin Brown. He is an incredible surgeon that specializes in port surgeries. He has done over 11,000! He is also known for singing oldies to his patients during the entire surgery (I was in there for an hour and 20 minutes). At the end of the surgery, he held my hand and sang "Hooked on a Feeling". The nurses were singing along as well. Amazing right!? For me, this was an experience, not a surgery.  Then, last night Dr. Brown sent me an email with "A Song For You" written in the subject. He included his rendition of "What a Wonderful World". This man is doing what he loves and it shows. I am so thankful to get to know these wonderful people that are taking care of me. I would have never had the privilege to experience something like it, but I got to because of you, cancer. You are not as big and tough as you think you are!!! 😤

Ready!

My new friend. 

Port surgery done. The vein was accessed during surgery so that I didn't have to get poked for chemo. Normally, all you'll see is a bump (the purple friend in the picture above) under my skin. 

What A Difference A Year Makes

Exactly 1 year ago, we were preparing to surprise the boys on a week long trip to Disney World. This year, I'm wig shopping. A week from today I will have had my first cycle of chemo. I have this crazy urge to accomplish a bunch of things that I assume I will not feel like doing soon. I can only describe this feeling as "nesting" as one would with the upcoming arrival of a baby. Christmas decorations are almost done. Wig shopping has begun. The dilemma? How in the world am I going to find a wig that doesn't make me laugh. Or cry?
Although this November isn't quite as fun as last November, I feel luckier than ever for all of the humans in life. 💟

     IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING...THESE ARE WIGS. 😜

                                         

Bring It!!!

Joe must have felt like he was in college during our appointment today because he took 5 pages of notes on his iPad. I'll keep this update brief and try to highlight the most important points.
MD Anderson confirmed the original diagnosis.  HER2 results came back as positive. The doctor said this is good news as it gives us something besides chemo to attack the mass.
I am scheduled to have my port surgery on Monday, Nov. 20th. I'll get to keep that little guy until February of 2019. A whole year and a couple of months. 😳 On Tuesday, Nov. 21st, I start my 1st of 8 cycles of chemotherapy that will take place over 6 months (1 cycle every 3 weeks).  This means I'll spend almost a full day every 3 weeks in the Medical Center. That doesn't seem so bad to me.
The first 3 months will consist of  F.A.C (3 chemo drugs: Flouroracil, Doxorubicin and Cyclophosphamide). If they had asked me, I would have suggested a better name like, F.U.C. 😜 The last 3 months will consist of P.T.H (1 new chemo drug and 2 HER2 targeted therapy drugs: Perjeta, Taxotere and Herceptin).  The HER2 drug will continue for an additional 9 months after chemo resumes.
The CT scan detected a tiny nodule in my lung and a cyst in my pancreas but Dr. Ibrahim told us it was nothing to be concerned about... We will monitor with scans but he does not feel an MRI or biopsy are necessary.  We also discussed the side effects of chemo. The one that the boys seem the most concerned about is hair loss.  I should start to lose my hair somewhere between 1 and 3 weeks after my first cycle. So, if you see me next month without any hair, do not be alarmed. I told the boys I was going to get a pink wig. They keep begging me to do a normal color and even helping me look for wigs online. 😍
I'm feeling positive and anxious to get started. I don't like to wait. I guess I better get my Christmas shopping done and find a wig QUICKLY!

XO ~
Urs

Two Hearts 💜

Today, I had a second marker (link for more info: coil embolization) inserted into the mass. I don't like the word tumor so I will call it a "mass" or "bump".  One of the markers is in the shape of a ribbon 🎗and the one they inserted today is in the shape of a heart 💜 on each side of the mass. I guess they thought I needed a second heart? This will allow them to track it's size during chemo and location during surgery. 

On the way to the hospital I received a call from the Genetics Counselor. The BRCA1 and BRCA2 (link for more info) gene mutation test came back negative. Good news since we know it's not something that was 

inherited. This also means I won't have to have a hysterectomy as well as bilateral mastectomy. The statistics on developing ovarian or breast cancer when an individual has these 2 mutations is alarming. Small victories!

We go back to Dr. Ibrahim (primary Oncologist) tomorrow and should have more to update in the next day or two. 

Since they make me wear this fancy robe, I'm going to start pretending I'm going to the spa instead... 😝

Delivering the News

Our appointment yesterday was less emotionally taxing and a little more entertaining than the one on Monday. Joe and I talked about how walking through the MD Anderson doors the second time around wasn't quite as frightening. As soon as we arrived they inserted a catheter in my arm. I'm sure I won't mind needles as much when this is all said and done. 😆 They injected radioactive tracers (sounds cool doesn't it?) and I had a bone scan. I drank an oral contrast cocktail for a CT scan (chest, abdomen and pelvic area). Then, I had an echocardiogram where I got to see my heart via ultrasound. In between all of this, I had blood drawn for several tests including genetics testing where they will test for BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes. I was even told I wasn't pregnant. 😳 I was laughing to myself imagining the conversation with Joe had they told me the opposite.
Now we wait for those results and continue to wait for the MD Anderson pathology and HER2 results. 

Interestingly enough, things seemed easier.  Acceptance is taking the place of shock and we are getting familiar with this new world.  Then, we came home to tell the boys. So far, the hardest thing we've had to do since we started down this road.  We had talked to a Social Worker who gave us tips on how to deliver the news. She explained that we needed to be honest, using age-appropriate words and guided us to a resource for help (link below if interested). Cole is full of questions and we've had many long conversations, which put our minds at ease initially.  Then, he cried last night, which was devastating to us. Reid on the other hand, is quiet, which also concerns us.  

Diagnosis didn't break me but seeing my boys and loved ones worry - breaks me. 

KIWI: Kids Inquire, We Inform | MD Anderson Cancer Center

KIWI: Kids Inquire, We Inform | MD Anderson Cancer Center How do I talk to my child about cancer? What is the best approach? Through KIWI, let MD Anderson help answer som...

Game Plan

Joe and I went to our first appointment at MD Anderson today.  It was a long 10 hour day of testing and meeting with the new team of doctors. I have to say...We are blown away at our experience thus far and look forward to to learning more about this hospital.

Some of this information may be too detailed, but I'm using this as a way to summarize the mountains  of information that was thrown at us. MD Anderson has determined that the mass is one (instead of 2) measuring 3.35 cm long. We are still waiting on HER2 receptor results as well as the biopsy slides so that they can do their own pathology to confirm diagnosis. Assuming the path report is accurate, my current clinical stage is 2A.

I go back Friday for another full day of additional scans and tests. Then,  on Nov 7th, I go back for scan results and chemo game plan (type, frequency, side effects etc...).
It feels good to have a game plan and to know that I'm in some of the best medical hands!

Thank you to everyone that called, emailed, sent texts and helped us out today. Joe and I are overwhelmed with the amount of love we feel! You make the sun shine a little brighter for us on days like these. 💓

Just to be Safe...

I turned 40 this year. This meant I was ready for routine mammograms.  So, at the end of September I had one.  A week later, I was asked to go back in for an ultrasound to get a closer look at 2 spots, JUST TO BE SAFE. During the ultrasound the doctor told me "it just doesn't meet all of the benign criteria, so I'd like to have it biopsied, JUST TO BE SAFE".  I had my biopsy and made an appointment with my OBGYN for results a week later. On October 17th, 2017 I woke up, ran 6 miles, showered and went to see my doctor so that she could tell me "everything looks good, see you next year".
Instead, I was told I had breast cancer.  Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, grade 3 and negative for progesterone and estrogen receptors, to be exact. Coincidentally, it happens to be Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  I have an appointment on Monday October 23rd, 2017 at MD Anderson in the Medical Center to confirm diagnosis and speak to several Oncologists.

A few days into this mess and I've already learned that Cancer brings many GOOD things.
LOVE. I feel so loved. An overwhelming amount of love from the best family and friends in the universe.
GRATITUDE. Grateful this happened to me and not any of my loved ones. Grateful that my mom, dad and in-laws live so close to us. The support that they will be able to provide Joe and our boys will be something I will never be able to repay.  Grateful that I live in Houston, close to MD Anderson, one of the leading hospitals in the world for cancer research. Most importantly, grateful for the man that I married, our 2 little boys and our perfect little life.  I hate so much that I'm taking them down this road, but together we will get through it.
PERSPECTIVE. Suddenly, I was reminded of what truly (TRULY) matters in life.
So, thank you Cancer but you can go now.

I'm starting this blog so that I can document this for myself but also opening it up to others that want to know more details, like my family in Peru.  I'll update after the appointment tomorrow.  😘

-Urs

PS/. The boys don't know yet. We are hoping to keep them protected until we know more information.