Update

I meant to update over the Thanksgiving holiday but I just kept putting it off. Surgery went very well.
I have a new set of (smaller) "boobies", but at least a little softer than the expanders. WAY more comfortable, too. I had ZERO pain in that area. Had my doctor told me that he wasn't able to perform the surgery, I would have believed him.
The fat grafting was/is uncomfortable in terms of pain. Mainly the nerve damage.  My torso is still pretty swollen from it, but that's to be expected. My surgeon said that since I didn't get drains, I should expect swelling for approximately 3 months. I wear my Spanx 24 hours a day, except for while I shower. I expected the Spanx to be more annoying, but I've almost become used to wearing them. I'm supposed to go back in February to discuss the next surgery.

For now, this is the least amount of weekly doctors appointments I've had in over a year. I'm still going every 3 weeks for Herceptin and regular echocardiograms, but I'm not scheduled to see my Oncologist until the end of January.  It's a strange feeling not to have the constant, watchful eye of your team of doctors, needles and test results.  It's a good sign, but definately an emotional adjustment.

Thank you for continuing to be THE BEST family and friends a girl could ever ask for! 💝

Showcasing my Elsa ❄ wig along with my whole world. 💗

Surgery Date Set

I just realized that I haven't updated in a while, so here's a quick update.
I am scheduled for surgery tomorrow (Monday Nov 12). My white blood cell counts were at 3.7 (normal is 4.0-11.0). My plastic surgeon would not have performed the surgery at 3.5, but I made the cut and that's all that "counts". 😉 My Oncologist said it could take a year for counts to normalize from chemo. Speaking of chemo, my eyelashes are falling out AGAIN 😫 almost 6 months post chemo.  That's getting a little old especially since I've lost count on how many times I've lost them.  BUT, I'm still so incredibly thankful for that poison.

Surgery tomorrow is to swap out the rock hard tissue expanders for silicone implants and fat grafting. Fat grafting is liposuction that transplants fat to the breast area since the double mastectomy took every ounce of fat in that area. My surgeon had warned me that I did not have enough fat and would need me to gain some weight. Soooooooooo, being the good patient that I am... I gained 5 kilos (MD Anderson weighs in kilos instead of pounds). Loved every bit of it too! 😋  Apparently, it's not enough and he's pretty confident I'll have to have another surgery down the road. I am just so excited that I'll be done with the bulk of my treatment after this surgery. A year ago, I could only think about 1 single chemo treatment at a time. The mastectomy, year long Hercetpin and phase II of reconstruction was just too far away (and daunting) for me to even think about.

Is it strange that I'm looking forward to the surgery sleep that tomorrow will bring? 😂 I welcome prayers and positive vibes for a quick and easy recovery. I'll update next week sometime. 💗

PS/. Almost forgot an update. After the CT scan I had in October, I was referred to a gastrointestinal doctor at MD Anderson.  Since the cyst in my pancreas has remained stable for a year and is only 5mm, he wants to continue to monitor once a year via CT scan. He said it's likely pre-cancerous but did not feel a biopsy was necessary (would only do one if larger than 1cm). Just thankful that he didn’t feel it was anything that needed to be addressed right away because I would have thrown a temper tantrum. 😜

Stylish  CT scan outfit

Funny how this little machine can cause so much anxiety. 

Hard to believe this all happened in the last 365 days.

CT Scan Update

My nurse emailed me today and let me know that my CT scan didn't find any cancer. YEAH!!!! 💃 The 4mm lung lesion that they found a year ago had resolved itself. However, the 5mm cyst in my pancreas is still there. Thankfully, she said that "cysts are usually benign" and that it had not changed in size. They will be referring me to a Gastrointestinal doctor at MD Anderson (because I don't have enough!!! 😂) that will decide how we should move forward.

I'll get a call within the next 2 weeks to schedule my exchange surgery where they will swap the expanders for implants. One of the MANY great things about MD Anderson is the fact that they schedule every single appointment for me.  The scheduler coordinates with the different departments (oncology, reconstructive surgery, chemo suite, scans, blood etc...), and they make my appointment on days that I'll already be there. I feel so lucky that all I have to do, is just show up. One less thing to worry about!

It has almost been 5 months since my last chemo and hair is growing! I even got my first haircut since I shaved it in February (first shave was in Dec. 2017). I have dreams about my hair being as long as it was! I'm hoping that I can be done with wigs and hats by next October.

Thank you to the beautiful souls in my life that continue to check on me!! I feel the love and I'm so grateful for it. 💓

Update

I met with my Oncologist last week and it was a good visit.  I love him and his personality is exactly the type of doctor that I need. He doesn't focus on statistics and always finds a super sweet way to respond when I corner him with reoccurrence questions.
I've been cleared to return to my regular checkups (i.e., the dentist and the OBGYN. Ya know? All the fun doctors. 🙄).  I am not scheduled to see my Oncologist again until the end of January . I made sure they scheduled it after my birthday. I spent my 41st birthday getting chemotherapy this past January, so I'm determined to plan something fun this coming year.

This week, I get to see my plastic surgeon.  This means that I should have my exchange surgery scheduled in the near future. 🙌 I will also have another echocardiogram to make sure Herceptin isn't causing any heart damage. Please pray that everything looks good so that I can continue getting treatment. On Friday, I'll have a CT scan to check on a "small 4 mm nodule" in my lung as well as a "small 5 mm cystic lesion" in the pancreas that they spotted last year.  The preparation and scan should take 3 hours. Funny how I had already forgotten how lengthy that type of scan can be.  Scans are always scary for anyone that's every been diagnosed. However, for some reason, I'm feeling really relaxed and confident that everything will look good. I just can't allow my mind to wander too much.
I'll update as soon as I know the results. 😘

New Normal... For a Little While

My two biggest treatment hurdles (chemo and double mastectomy) are done.  I'm starting to see what my new normal will feel like, at least for a little while.

Not counting the bald and boobless part, I'm feeling almost like my old self. I would have been at 100% weeks ago, had it not been for these expanders. I remember reading about how uncomfortable they were from all of my "cancer friends". I go to the hospital each week to get them filled until I reach the desired size. Then, I'll keep them for about 3-6 months before I have another surgery to exchange them for silicone implants (can't wait because these things are like rocks!). When the boys asked how big I'll go, I told them that I just want them each to be as big as basketballs. I wish I could have captured the mortified look on their faces. 😂

The next phase of treatment consists of going to MD Anderson every 3 weeks until March, where Herceptin will be administered via my port. Herceptin is a monoclonal anitbody/ targeted therapy drug and is not considered chemotherapy.  You wouldn't know that by looking at the list of side effects, but it is tolerated A LOT better than chemotherapy.

I started on Tuesday 7/10 and so far, I am feeling FANTASTIC! I'm only experiencing a runny nose,  muscle pain (which I love, because it makes me feel like I've been working out- until I look in the mirror 🙄 😂), minor random stomach aches and fatigue when I pretend to be the normal me.

Here is a picture update on my hair at 1 month post chemo. I look like a baby bird. I'll take a picture each month to track progress. It thinned out even more after the last round on May 17th. Just as my eyelashes and eyebrows were beginning to grow back, they decided to fall out again last week.  I also have a couple of nails that are beginning to lift from the nail bed (side effect from one of the chemos). It's crazy to me, to still see side effects beginning to happen almost 2 months after finishing chemo. The human body is pretty amazing.

Adventures at MD Anderson

On Tuesday, I had a 20 minute appointment with the Plastic Surgery department.  I still couldn't drive and the boys are out of school for summer break. So, I asked my dad to take me and the boys (trying to minimize the amount of time Joe has to take off work). The boys would finally be able to see the hospital where I had been receiving treatment instead of imagining a scary place. It was a positive, short visit, so why not?
My dad and boys sat in the waiting room while I went in to my appointment to remove drains and fill my expanders. They took my last 2 drains (day 13 post surgery and the first 2 drains on day 8). Then, began to fill my right expander with a saline solution. For those interested, here is a link to a video of this type of procedure.  I find it so interesting and watched my procedure the entire time. Suddenly, the room started to get dark. I told the nurse that I may faint and went to sleep. The best sleep I've ever experienced! 😂
When I woke up, I was so confused. I didn't recognize the nurse, didn't know where I was or why my robe was open. 😳 After a couple of seconds it all made sense. I thought I fainted but the nurse said it looked like a seizure. She said I tensed up, clenched my fists, turned my face to the side and my face got red. That bit of information along with low blood pressure/low heart rate and I won my first trip to an Emergency Room. In an ambulance, nonetheless!!! I was already in a hospital but apparently they can't take stretchers down the skywalk. So, they put me in the ambulance, the driver did a donut in the parking lot (or so it seemed)  and took me into the ER. I must have been in the ambulance for 22 seconds.
I felt sooo dramatic. I mean, I've had hundreds of needles since diagnosis, biopsies, port surgery while awake, chemotherapy, X-rays, MRI's, CT scans, a double mastectomy and NO ISSUES. They stick a tiny needle in my boob and I end up in the ER. Oh and they sent me home with one inflated boob. 😂  Comical situation but I felt TERRIBLE that my dad and boys had to experience something other than an uneventful visit. I'm sure it seemed scarier from their perspective, too. Of course, Joe dropped everything at work and showed up even though I asked him not to... So much for trying to avoid him missing yet another work day because of me. 😒
All tests came normal and I was referred to a Cardiologist but I'm sure things are fine!

Waiting in an 8th floor waiting room at MDA.

This is a video of how long I was in the ambulance. 😜

Pathology Results

We've had to be at the hospital more than usual lately. Tons of post op appts, but I will continue to happily do whatever Md Anderson wants me to do.  One of the appointments was to receive surgical pathology results. Going into the appointment, I was convinced that the results would be good but the only results I wanted to hear were "pathological complete response". Out of all of the good news scenarios (and there are lots), this was the best scenario of all. This meant that chemotherapy and the HER2 drugs had worked 100% and that there were ZERO cancer cells left. I had read several clinical studies regarding statistics and patients that received "pathological complete response". Basically...

Patients who attain pathological complete response defined as ypT0 ypN0 (<---my results) or ypT0/is ypN0 have improved survival. The prognostic value is greatest in aggressive tumour subtypes. 
The aggressive tumor subtypes are triple negative and HER2 positive (<--my diagnosis 🙋). Link to one of the studies, if you are nerdy like me! 🤓 

For obvious reasons, that's all I wanted to hear...However, I also knew that it would be unlikely considering I could still feel the tumor until the day of surgery. The ultrasound the day before the surgery also showed that the mass was still roughly around 2 centimeters. Our anxiety level the morning of the appointment was at an 8. To add to the anticipation, my doctor was an hour late. She walked in with a smile, hugged me and said "well, I've got your pathology results and they are great. There were no microscopic cancer cells found in your tissue or lymph nodes. This is what you call "pathological complete response". The amount of relief I felt in that moment was immense. Eight months worth of relief. So much water squirted out of my eyes, that I must have looked like a sprinkler system. According to Joe, his eyeballs were just sweating.  😂 Turns out, the mass I was feeling and what the ultrasound was seeing, was just scar tissue...

This journey is not over but we are BEYOND happy and thankful. I meet with my Medical Oncologist on Monday to determine what happens next in terms of treatment. I do know that I'll have to continue my HER2 drugs (administered via my port every 3 weeks at the hospital) until March 2019. But at this point, I'll be happy even if he says I have to do more chemo and/or radiation for safe measure. I am already bald, so bring it Dr. Ibrahim! 😉

10 Days Post Surgery

Well, the Neupongen shot worked. It worked so well, that my doctors had to discuss whether or not it was normal for my Neutrophil Abs (white blood cells) to jump from 1.2 to 27 overnight. I was able to have a Bilateral Prophylactic Mastectomy on Wednesday June 6th. The Surgical Oncologist spent around 3 hours performing the  mastectomy and left the remaining 3 hours for my Plastic Surgeon. It's so much easier to be the patient. I got to drift off to another planet while Joe and my Mom and Dad waited for updates on the 6 hour surgery.  As soon as I woke up from surgery, all I wanted was to see their faces.

Joe spent the night with me at MD Anderson on a very comfortable recliner. 😬 Again, the patient is better off.  Thankfully, it was only one night and we were home by noon the next day with my 4 humongous drains. Around day 4, I was feeling so well that I decided I would stop taking my prescription pain meds and only take Tylenol. Bad idea, because pain and nausea kicked in quickly.  I went back to my prescription medications and have been able to stay on top of the pain so far. I can't lift anything over 5 pounds so the boys have been helping me with everything. My mom has been my personal nurse and taking care of my drains twice a day. 💜  On Thursday (day 8), I had my first post op appointment with my Plastic Surgeon.  He was able to remove 2 drains and replace the 2 remaining drains with smaller bulbs. I can actually wear a shirt that will cover the 2 new drains. Great progress!!!! 😄

I'm scheduled to go back to MDA on Monday to discuss the pathology report with my Surgical Oncologist. A bit anxious about it, but not as bad as I had anticipated. I'm hopeful that the results will be good.  Then, I go back on Tuesday to hopefully have the last 2 drains removed and begin to have my expanders filled. 👏👏
I'll have one more surgery in a couple of months for a continuation on the reconstruction part, but I am just so glad to have this big one behind me.

My boys told me yesterday "Mom, it's not your birthday and you get something every single day". To say I'm grateful would be an understatement. I feel speechless and overwhelmed with love.
I'm so thankful for the calls and messages checking in to see how I'm doing, the uplifting cards, the flowers and fruit arrangements, the meals, the gift cards, the outpouring of help, the gifts- all of it! Most of all, I'm thankful for the amount of love that goes into each gesture. Thank you!!!! I am a very lucky girl! 💖

I will update on Monday or Tuesday after the appointments.  Wish me luck and feel free to throw in a prayer or two!

Not my pee pan... 😛

Surgery Update

I counted 11 appointments at MD Anderson between yesterday and today. Just regular pre-op appointments, scans and tests. I was surprised (and very disappointed) when my Plastic Surgeon informed me that he wouldn't perform surgery on me due to low white blood cell counts. My team later decided to give me a Neupogen shot. This shot was administered in my stomach and is supposed to stimulate bone marrow to help produce more white cells. At this point, I'm scheduled for surgery at 12:30pm tomorrow (June 6th), but first I'll have blood drawn to check my white cell count.
Never (EVER) thought I would pray for higher blood counts, so that I can have a double mastectomy. 😲

I'll update tomorrow if surgery has to be postponed OR in the next week or so, if surgery ends up taking place.

Round # 8 - Chemo Finito!

This ordeal has made ordinary dates memorable. I was diagnosed on October 17th, 2017. Exactly 7 months later, I completed my 8th round of chemo on May 17, 2018.  I see several lucky number 7’s in those dates. 😄 My heart feels so grateful that I continue to feel positive and happy.  My body is weaker and I’ve found it harder to keep my weight up, but I've managed to keep it up by stuffing my face! 🐽
Of course, muscle has been replaced by fat but I'll work on that as soon as I get clearance from my Oncologist and Cardiologist.  Although my body is weaker, my mind is stronger than ever! Not to be confused by sharper 😅 because my brain is definitely not what it used to be (chemo brain is so real).

I still have 10 months left in this journey of “active treatment” but it feels so good to be done with the first phase!! The second phase (surgery) will be here in less than a month. Phase 3 is dependent on the pathology results from surgery, where I could possibly have radiation everyday for 6-8 weeks. Phase 4, I'll continue going to the hospital for Perjeta and Herceptin infusions. Somewhere in between, I'll have another surgery or two for reconstruction.

I’ll spend 2 days before surgery at MDA getting a battery of  tests (MRI’s, ultrasounds,  XRays, echocardiogram etc., etc.....). I’ll update once I get those results.

Thank you to my lovely family, friends (and strangers) that have provided so much love and support. You keep me going!

This girl drove in from Dallas to to accompany me on my last chemo treatment, just like she has throughout our entire frienship. I love you SOO much Amy!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Round # 7

The penultimate round came and went. Things went pretty well until day 5. Sort of expected since day 5 during last round felt the same. I remember thinking to myself that if I died that day, I didn't really care. 😳 I know, I know... so dramatic... 😂 Still, I am so very thankful that thus far, I've only had 3 bad days (PTH chemo, night 3 on round 5 and day 5 on rounds 6 and 7).  I get my last round on May 17th and then surgery on June 6th. Suddenly, time is flying! If you are the praying type, please pray that things continue to stay on track and that the pathology report from surgery comes back as "complete pathological response". Thank you!!

Quick Update on Ultrasound

I had an ultrasound on Monday April 16th and I'm happy to report that this thing is FINALLY shrinking. So excited to finally see some changes after 5 months of chemo! 💃 <---I really wish they had a bald dancing girl. Preferably, one with NO eyelashes. 😛

Chemo Round # 6

These two beautiful women continue to accompany me through life. All of it! The girl to my left has been in my life for 29 years!! We have been through so many stages of  life together. My mom and biggest cheerleader, well...I've known for my entire 41 years. She is the best mom and biggest supporter, regardless of what I do in life. They love me with all of my flaws and I'm so thankful for them! 

Apparently, one of my flaws is counting with my fingers. According to my boys, the number 6 should be represented as 👋👆 and not 👋👍. I better start doing some research on how to represent the number 7 because I'm already stressing about it... 😅

Thursday consisted of appointments with my plastic surgeon, oncologist, blood work and 3 hours of chemo.  Everything went smoothly and the best news is getting cleared for chemo with good blood counts! We are typically gone from the house for 12 hours, which makes for a long day at MD Anderson. BUT, I am always so grateful to be there!

Side effects: I'm happy to report that the exorcism didn't happen during this round.  I still had muscle aches and some very minor cold symptoms. Lack of sleep was a big one this time. This chemo keeps me awake, even after I'm done taking the steroids. I don't remember sleeping for more than an hour at a time for the first 5 days, even with sleep aids. Then, for the first time since diagnosis, I had a 10 minute period of time where I didn't know how I was going to keep going through treatment. The moment passed quickly, thank goodness. I'm pretty sure the lack of sleep was 100% at fault for that little feeling! My mouth feels RAW the first week due to mucositis (link for more info: mucositis). That and lack of sleep are probably my least favorite symptoms. I'm feeling great again and ready to do this again next Thursday!

Chemo Round #5 Update

Night 3 was a rough one, l but feel great now! No nausea, no real fatigue and no heart palpitations that I felt on the first 4 rounds of F.A.C. This new stuff seems to be way harder on me for 24 hours, where the other stuff made me feel "blah" for about 5 days. The cough, runny nose, acne and bloodshot eyes that are lingering are a nuisance but stuff I can live with...

I'm scheduled for my 6th round on April 5th. I'm also scheduled for surgery on May 30th. I'm excited to get to the next phase of treatment but also a bit anxious on the challenges it will bring. Keeping my fingers crossed that I stay on schedule!

Night 3 of Round #5

Well, the steroids wore off and gave way to some fun little symptoms last night. Chills, sweating, shaking, coughing, muscle aches, shooting joint pains. I woke up this morning feeling like I had been through an exorcism. 😳😂 I've been useless all day, but I'm hopeful I'm on the upswing!

*Not actual footage.  😜

Round #5

As I'm counting up, I'm counting down! Three rounds to go. This one caused me almost as much anxiety as the first round. Thursday (March 15th), I started a new concoction of 3 drugs: Taxotere (chemo), Perjeta (HER2 drug) and Herceptin (HER2 drug). These are supposed to be easier than my previous 4 rounds but they carry a higher likelihood of an allergic reaction during infusion. Although it was a long 12 hour day at MD Anderson, things went smoothly. I had to take 16 mg of steroids a day for 3 days to help with the side effects, so for now I'm feeling GREAT! Well, minus the 6 month bloated belly I've got from the steroids. 😖 On Friday, I had another ultrasound to check the mass for response to treatment. It continues to remain "stable", but I'm happy as long as there is no "progression".  Thank you for constantly checking on me and loving on me. When things seem overwhelming, someone always seems to pop in with just the right words in a text or a call, at just the right time to get me through the hump. 💗 Thank you 💗

#5 DONE! 

Back to the spa for another ultrasound. 

HALF WAY!!!!

Round #4 is behind me and I can now say I'm HALF WAY through chemo! It's interesting how much of a mental game this is.  When I think to myself that I'm half way through, I get a burst of energy knowing the end of this phase of treatment is close. When I think to myself that I have 4 rounds to go, it seems daunting. So, I'm focusing on one month at a time and enjoying the fact that I continue to feel so great! 

One of the hardest things I've had to deal with in this journey, is accepting the need to rely on others. I love being independent and I don't like the way it makes me feel to need help. Thankfully, the only help I've needed thus far, is getting to and from treatment.  I feel drunk as soon as they access my port and therefore can't drive myself home. What's funny, is that accepting this help has been so emotionally rewarding and uplifting. These two pretty girls were by my side for round #4 and they made the hours fly by.  I don't think I could have gotten this far without the help of my family and friends.

with Aimee and Tiff. 💓

Round 4 with one of my BFF's! 😘💕

Nausea/ fatigue- A lot more nausea this round. So far, no fatigue but it has been replaced by narcolepsy. 😳 Four days after my treatment we went to watch Cole play in a baseball tournament. I only sat through 2 games (key word: SAT). When we got home at 5:30pm, I showered and fell asleep. Yesterday, I went on my daily walk with my dad and went to Costco. When I got home, I slept for a solid hour. I guess my body needs it, but it's strange to just fall asleep after practically doing nothing! Chemo brain (yes, it's a real thing) is making me super self-conscious because I forget everything. I find myself repeating everything to everyone. As I type this, I'm wondering to myself "did I already mention this in a previous post?".  I feel like Dory.

Appetite/weight- It's official. I'm the first cancer patient to ever gain weight during treatment. Before my 4th round, I had gained 4 lbs.  I'm back down to my starting weight but REALLY? Gaining weight was the last thing I expected.  Two of the chemos that I'm on lists weight gain as a side effect and then of course the steroids. Annoying, but I'm sure I'll fall asleep soon and forget all about it. 😆

Hard to tell in pictures but my hair is growing back (until my next treatment where it will fall again). When I shaved my hair before my 2nd round, I was told to leave 1/2 an inch to prevent hair follicle infection. I was tired of looking like a baby elephant, so I shaved it with a razor on Feb. 5th. Today, I have almost 3 millimeters of hair. Maybe I'll try braiding it later...

I go back to MD Anderson on March 15th for my 5th round where the cocktail will be switched to a new chemo drug and two HER-2 targeted therapy drugs. Eager and anxious to start these new treatments to see how the mass will respond and how I'll tolerate it. Until then, I'll focus on living and enjoying this beautiful life!

Ultrasound & Round # 3

I had an ultrasound to check response to treatment on January 12th.  The results: "ultrasound shows stable to interval decrease in size of breast mass, which is what we want. No other abnormalities noted." Good news, right? Well, I was a disappointed because I believed they were going to tell me that it had shrunk significantly. By nature, I'm an optimist almost to the point of being a bit delusional. 😬 When news isn't as positive as I would have expected, I turn into what I call a "brightsider". This is where I automatically find the bright side of the situation. The bright side: I was supposed to have had the ultrasound after 3 cycles over an 8 week period. Because of the chemo delays (due to low counts), I had only had 2 cycles over an 8 week period. I'm so thankful my doctors decided to wait to remove the mass after chemo. Had they removed the mass before chemo, there would be no way to tell if chemo is working.

I was due to have my 3rd cycle of chemo on Jan. 16th but Mother Nature had other plans. Texas closed for 2 days because of icy weather.  My doctors rescheduled me for the 18th. I was so happy to finally get to have chemo that I didn't care if it was on my birthday! This time, my amazing Dad took me. I love talking to him and hearing all of the stories of what life was like when he and my mom were young youngER 😜 and living over-seas. Not sure what I would do if I didn't get to see and kiss their faces on a regular basis. 

Chemo cycle #3 with Papi 💜

Today is day 4 post chemo and symptoms have been the same as the previous 2 cycles.  I'm still only taking 1 of my nausea meds for the first 3 days. I don't get brave enough to stop taking it until day 4. 

It's incredible how precise it is though. I take it every 12 hours (8:00am and 8:00pm). I feel nausea kicking in exactly 15-20 minutes before I'm due for my next pill.  The steroid (bloating) is bothering me a little more this time around because I feel like I'm 3 months pregnant. 😳  I'm getting better at pacing myself so that I don't get too fatigued. Besides the week of chemo, I'm walking 2 miles with my dad and dog and biking 10 miles on the spin bike 4-5 days a week. I hope I can keep it up as the months progress. 

In summary, things are very GOOD! 💃 Thank you for constantly checking on me and showing me so much love.  You may not know it, but it helps me so much!