42 and Counting

Hard to believe I was 40 when this detour started. I've always LOVED my birthday but the past 2 birthdays have been extra special. I just feel so damn thankful with each passing year.
Last year, I was getting chemo on my actual birthday. But even then, I was so thankful I was getting to spend it with my dad (he took me that day). This year, I got to spend the weekend out of town with beautiful friends. With each birthday, I'm reminded just how thankful I am to get to wake up and experience this amazing life with my family and friends. 💗

I met with my Oncologist yesterday for my 3 month checkup. Have I ever mentioned that I love him? He scheduled me for scans on Feb. 5th and then again May 7th. He said that after that, I'll 'graduate' to scans every 6 months. Besides checking for reoccurrence, they have to continue to monitor my lungs for the next 2 years (they found a lesion during initial scans that ended up going away).  They will also have to monitor the cyst in my pancreas for 2 years, so I better get used to scans and the anxiety they bring.

Besides an annoying runny nose/sore throat that I've had for a month, I continue to feel great! I only have 5 Herceptin infusions left. This means that they will be able to remove my port and I'll be done with "active treatment" in May.  I've started going to a therapist to help me sort through the last 15 months. SO MUCH happens, SO QUICKLY that I don't think I knew what hit me until recently.  I felt I needed help processing every single event in order to maintain an emotional well being. One of the first questions she asked was "what have you learned through cancer?"  This question made me cry. Not because it made me sad but because it overwhelmed me thinking about what I've learned. The love that people give you is what carries you through cancer. The amount of love that I've received since diagnosis is hard to believe.  And it COMPLETELY OVERWHELMS me. This was part of my first entry on this blog in October 2017. Over a year later and this is still 100% true:

A few days into this mess and I've already learned that Cancer brings many GOOD things.
LOVE. I feel so loved. An overwhelming amount of love from the best family and friends in the universe.
GRATITUDE. Grateful this happened to me and not any of my loved ones. Grateful that my mom, dad and in-laws live so close to us. The support that they will be able to provide Joe and our boys will be something I will never be able to repay.  Grateful that I live in Houston, close to MD Anderson, one of the leading hospitals in the world for cancer research. Most importantly, grateful for the man that I married, our 2 little boys and our perfect little life.  I hate so much that I'm taking them down this road, but together we will get through it.
PERSPECTIVE. Suddenly, I was reminded of what truly (TRULY) matters in life.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for the love. Each word or gesture (big or small) provided me with enough to continue pushing forward. 💕

Crested Butte, January 2019. 

😜