Check-ups

I'm not going to MD Anderson a fraction of the time, but when I do, I'm spending most of my day there. Yesterday, I had blood work, met with Dr. Ibrahim (breast oncologist) and Dr. Weston (Gastroenterologist at MDA that monitors the cyst in my pancreas).  I was under the impression that the checkups would get further and further apart until they felt it was no longer necessary. Apparently, they will both follow me forever. I was a little shocked about that at first... But I guess it can't be a bad thing to have doctors in one of the best institutions keep an eye on you, right?

Dr. Ibrahim said my blood work and tumor markers looks great! As long as symptoms don't present themselves or blood work looks off, I will not be getting surveillance MRI's or CT scans.
He will continue to see me every 4 months for blood tests and checkups.

Dr. Weston wants me to have an in-depth MRI and CT combo of the pancreas, but not until May of 2021. The appointment ALREADY showed up in my MDA portal. ha!

It has been 2 years since I started this blog. Two years since I was diagnosed. And 2 years since I felt that life would never be normal again. BUT... I'm seeing glimpses of normalcy and it makes me so happy!  I'm taking my time, but little by little I'm getting stronger physically.  My babies seem completely unaffected by the past 2 years, which is such a HUGE relief to me. I still have some minor residual treatment symptoms but it's completely manageable. I do wish I could remove certain dates from the calendar because I find myself re-living those dates (some form of PTSD maybe?). Still, I continue to feel appreciative of this GREAT life and I wouldn't change a single thing. 💗

Ditched the Wigs!

I've been wearing wigs and hats since I lost my hair at the beginning of December 2017.  I didn't want to even try getting a real haircut because I refused to wear it short. In my mind, I had another year of wigs (making it a total of 2 and a 1/2 years with wigs). 😫 A sweet friend finally convinced me to let her give me a haircut and add some color.  Laura owns two salons in College Station (Celebrity Spa and Salon) and was the only person I trusted during such a vulnerable time. I knew she would do a great job, but I was convinced I would not venture out in public with short hair, NEVER-EVER!
This girl proved me wrong and 5 hours (and a couple of happy/emotional tears later), I walked out of the salon without a wig or a hat!

It's still very hard for me to feel comfortable with it being this short, but it has been liberating.  It feels so good to begin the rebuilding process! 

Dec. 2017

July 2019 (hair didn't start growing back until chemo ended in May 2018)

Tara (hands down one of the biggest players in my support system 💓) and sweet Laura! There are several days/milestones in this journey that I will remember forever and this day is one of them. 💝

Deported!!

This is old news by now, but I'm updating the blog so that I can keep track down the road. I had my port removed on Friday May 24th. I chose to not be put under general anesthesia and I'm very glad I did. This was my 5th surgical procedure in a year and a half and going under anesthesia was getting old. Well, going under wasn't, but waking up from it was!
The procedure itself only lasted 30 minutes and after some tugging and pulling, they took my old friend out.
Recovery was so much faster and we headed to the beach the next day. I felt strange without it for a couple of weeks. I still touch the area looking for it and still wear the seatbelt in my car under my arm to avoid it touching my port, but I no longer miss it. I am beginning to see glimpses of normalcy and it feels SOOOO GOOD. I love EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I appreciate the little things in ways I can't describe and the bumps on the road, are just that... Best of all, I still believe that life is good. Very good!

MDA wouldn't let me keep the port, so I got a picture instead.

Scans

I got to the hospital at 6:45am yesterday and things went smoothly all day. I got my contrast via IV and they took pictures of my insides.  For whatever reason, I was not panicking with anxiety about this scan, like usual. Maybe it was the fact that I had surgery less than a week prior or the fact that I knew I would hear the results during my 1:30pm appt with my Oncologist? Whatever it was, I liked it. Joe met me for lunch and then we waited for our appt. I need to add that this detour would have been A LOT shittier without him. 💜
Anyway, scans were CLEAR! I hope they stay as clear as water until I'm 92. After that, I don't really care what happens. 😎

I meet with my plastic surgeon next week so that he can clear me to have surgery to have my port removed. My hope is that I'll have it taken out this month!!!  😱

My hair is OFFICIALLY out of control. It's SO fluffy that my wigs don't really fit anymore. 😩
But check out those miniature palm trees on my head. It's like I'm a 1-2 year old. LOL!

Surgery #4 - Done!

Boy, am I happy to be alive today. I feel drastically better! I am so happy to have that surgery over and done with and out of the fog/pain from yesterday.  The surgery lasted 3 hours, my surgeon said everything went very well and I didn't get drains! 🙌 About an hour after surgery, I started shaking uncontrollably. The nurses brought me a ton of warm blankets but that didn't help. Then, they brought me a vacuum cleaner looking machine with a hose that blew hot air under the blankets. That didn't work either. Finally, my nurse decided to try a stronger pain medicine via my IV and within 30-45 seconds of administering it, the shaking subsided. She said the level 6, I gave on the pain scale (1-10) was just a little off. 😂
I can shower this evening and don't have to see my doctor for post-op until the 14th. I'm going to have to get VERY creative with my wardrobe. The sexy white surgical bra and compression garment I have to wear for 6 weeks, will make it challenging. Especially, now that it's 80 degrees F consistently. Between that and the wigs/hats, I should be nice and toasty..... lol

Thank you for checking on me and sending so many prayers, good vibes and love my way! I am so grateful. 💓

This guy has shown me the true meaning of "in sickness and in health".  Since diagnosis, he has managed to balance it all and take care of me, in ways I didn't even know I needed. He keeps me laughing even when I feel like my stitches are going to bust open. I must have done something right, to end up with a man like him. 💜

Surgery & Update

Time is flying and standing still all at the same time. I've been living from treatment to treatment and suddenly I'M DONE! I had my last Herceptin treatment on April 11th. This means I've been in "active treatment" for a year and six months. THE. LONGEST. AND FASTEST. Year and a half of my life. It's as if a tornado came through and stuck around for a really long time.
I got to ring the bell after my last Herceptin treatment. That was an extremely emotional moment. Then again, this whole process has been more than I ever anticipated.

I am scheduled for a 2nd reconstruction surgery tomorrow. My 4th surgery in a year and a half.  I won't have the surgery start time until this evening, but I'm hoping it's in the morning. I don't want to come this far, to end up starving to death. 😅 It's supposed to be 3 hours long. I'll have a 6 week recovery period where I once again get to wear a compression garment from my knees to my chest and an annoying 5 pound lifting restriction.  On the 7th, I have scans and a visit with my oncologist. I'm hoping that at that point, he will have me DEPORTED 😆.  Or maybe just schedule my surgery to remove my port?
Things are moving along and I'm praying nothing slows this forward momentum.


Here's an update on this crazy new hair. The back is SO very curly... I'm just counting down to when I can put it in a ponytail.

Thank you for your continued love through this detour!! 

42 and Counting

Hard to believe I was 40 when this detour started. I've always LOVED my birthday but the past 2 birthdays have been extra special. I just feel so damn thankful with each passing year.
Last year, I was getting chemo on my actual birthday. But even then, I was so thankful I was getting to spend it with my dad (he took me that day). This year, I got to spend the weekend out of town with beautiful friends. With each birthday, I'm reminded just how thankful I am to get to wake up and experience this amazing life with my family and friends. 💗

I met with my Oncologist yesterday for my 3 month checkup. Have I ever mentioned that I love him? He scheduled me for scans on Feb. 5th and then again May 7th. He said that after that, I'll 'graduate' to scans every 6 months. Besides checking for reoccurrence, they have to continue to monitor my lungs for the next 2 years (they found a lesion during initial scans that ended up going away).  They will also have to monitor the cyst in my pancreas for 2 years, so I better get used to scans and the anxiety they bring.

Besides an annoying runny nose/sore throat that I've had for a month, I continue to feel great! I only have 5 Herceptin infusions left. This means that they will be able to remove my port and I'll be done with "active treatment" in May.  I've started going to a therapist to help me sort through the last 15 months. SO MUCH happens, SO QUICKLY that I don't think I knew what hit me until recently.  I felt I needed help processing every single event in order to maintain an emotional well being. One of the first questions she asked was "what have you learned through cancer?"  This question made me cry. Not because it made me sad but because it overwhelmed me thinking about what I've learned. The love that people give you is what carries you through cancer. The amount of love that I've received since diagnosis is hard to believe.  And it COMPLETELY OVERWHELMS me. This was part of my first entry on this blog in October 2017. Over a year later and this is still 100% true:

A few days into this mess and I've already learned that Cancer brings many GOOD things.
LOVE. I feel so loved. An overwhelming amount of love from the best family and friends in the universe.
GRATITUDE. Grateful this happened to me and not any of my loved ones. Grateful that my mom, dad and in-laws live so close to us. The support that they will be able to provide Joe and our boys will be something I will never be able to repay.  Grateful that I live in Houston, close to MD Anderson, one of the leading hospitals in the world for cancer research. Most importantly, grateful for the man that I married, our 2 little boys and our perfect little life.  I hate so much that I'm taking them down this road, but together we will get through it.
PERSPECTIVE. Suddenly, I was reminded of what truly (TRULY) matters in life.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for the love. Each word or gesture (big or small) provided me with enough to continue pushing forward. 💕

Crested Butte, January 2019. 

😜