Hello. It's me : )

Somehow, I haven't updated since October 2019. I'm updating so that I can keep track of cancer things in one place. It's hard to believe it's been almost 2 years of just living life. Even if life got a little strange for the entire WORLD during the Covid pandemic.  I have to admit, I enjoyed every second of our cancelled calendar! I'm a huge planner by nature, so it was such a nice break to be forced into a life of no plans. No social commitments, no school, NOTHING. It was lovely to just BE, even if it included a ton of masks and hand sanitizer. 😅😷

I was only supposed to get scans if symptoms presented themselves or if blood numbers looked off. Since then, I've had a couple of lung nodules that they've had to keep an eye on, so I was moved back to scans every quarter. I had a CT scan and blood work today. One thing I've learned, is that as time goes on, these things don't get easier. The anticipation of the results is worse than the anticipation I had just before I was diagnosed. Maybe it's due to the fact that you have an idea of what you'll be up against? Something that anyone that has been touched by cancer has to learn to live with... It's a excellent way to keep your perspective and gratitude in check- ALWAYS. 💛

I haven't seen the full report, but my amazing nurse sent me this blurb from the CT report:

1. No evidence of metastasis in the chest. 
2. Previously identified 0.2 cm right lower lobe nodule is not seen on this exam.

SO GRATEFUL I can barely stand it. 💗 

Check-ups

I'm not going to MD Anderson a fraction of the time, but when I do, I'm spending most of my day there. Yesterday, I had blood work, met with Dr. Ibrahim (breast oncologist) and Dr. Weston (Gastroenterologist at MDA that monitors the cyst in my pancreas).  I was under the impression that the checkups would get further and further apart until they felt it was no longer necessary. Apparently, they will both follow me forever. I was a little shocked about that at first... But I guess it can't be a bad thing to have doctors in one of the best institutions keep an eye on you, right?

Dr. Ibrahim said my blood work and tumor markers looks great! As long as symptoms don't present themselves or blood work looks off, I will not be getting surveillance MRI's or CT scans.
He will continue to see me every 4 months for blood tests and checkups.

Dr. Weston wants me to have an in-depth MRI and CT combo of the pancreas, but not until May of 2021. The appointment ALREADY showed up in my MDA portal. ha!

It has been 2 years since I started this blog. Two years since I was diagnosed. And 2 years since I felt that life would never be normal again. BUT... I'm seeing glimpses of normalcy and it makes me so happy!  I'm taking my time, but little by little I'm getting stronger physically.  My babies seem completely unaffected by the past 2 years, which is such a HUGE relief to me. I still have some minor residual treatment symptoms but it's completely manageable. I do wish I could remove certain dates from the calendar because I find myself re-living those dates (some form of PTSD maybe?). Still, I continue to feel appreciative of this GREAT life and I wouldn't change a single thing. 💗

Ditched the Wigs!

I've been wearing wigs and hats since I lost my hair at the beginning of December 2017.  I didn't want to even try getting a real haircut because I refused to wear it short. In my mind, I had another year of wigs (making it a total of 2 and a 1/2 years with wigs). 😫 A sweet friend finally convinced me to let her give me a haircut and add some color.  Laura owns two salons in College Station (Celebrity Spa and Salon) and was the only person I trusted during such a vulnerable time. I knew she would do a great job, but I was convinced I would not venture out in public with short hair, NEVER-EVER!
This girl proved me wrong and 5 hours (and a couple of happy/emotional tears later), I walked out of the salon without a wig or a hat!

It's still very hard for me to feel comfortable with it being this short, but it has been liberating.  It feels so good to begin the rebuilding process! 

Dec. 2017

July 2019 (hair didn't start growing back until chemo ended in May 2018)

Tara (hands down one of the biggest players in my support system 💓) and sweet Laura! There are several days/milestones in this journey that I will remember forever and this day is one of them. 💝